Single Childless Christian Women

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Single Childless Christian Women

Single Childless Christian Women are very common these days. Being a single childless christian woman in some churches today is akin to being the only chicken in a fox den.

 Single Childless Christian Women

It is no secret that there are more women in churches than men.  How then do we deal with this considering that for the most part churches ask that members are not “unequally yoked”?  I will get back to this story of unequally yoked in a bit but moving right along.

The typical U.S. Congregation draws an adult crowd that’s 61% female, 39% male.

If as women we are supposed to wait until we are married to have kids and we are also to marry someone in the church, can someone please explain how this is to work considering that there are more women than men in the church?   Please help me out here!

Now I know there are women in the church who are neither interested in getting married or having kids.  Please see post I did about that here.  So please don’t start throwing stones at me.  I am talking here about those women who want to get married and have kids but are severely hampered by all these restrictions.

Single Childless Christian Women

Single Childless Christian Women

There are so many Christian women in churches all over the world who are miserable because they are single and childless.   Now again before anyone starts to throw stones my way, I am a Christian woman and I am not trying to bash anyone here.   I am simple asking the tough questions because I have spoken to so many single childless christian women who need answers.

Let me start off by looking at what is thrown at single childless christian women daily.  I have heard ministers say from the pulpit that if any sister brings an unsaved man to him talking about marriage he is not going to approve. First of all your pastor does not have to approve the person you are going to marry ; that is between you and God.   Many times when they refer to the fact that the person has to be saved they are talking about the person attending church.  The last time I checked they are not the same thing. Attending church does not make you a christian no more than standing in a garage makes you a car.  So many “Christian men” treat their wives like a word I don’t wish to put in this article so clearly the answer is not just in attending church..   For a look at how I feel about this issue please view this article.

Single childless Christian women

How is it okay for a  woman to marry an unsaved man if she gets pregnant out of wedlock? that is the question that is baffling me.  If a woman gets pregnant for a man, most churches would encourage them to get married.  If it is so wrong to marry someone who is not saved then why is the church so eager to marry a woman to a man who is not saved just so they can save their image?  Stop telling women they cannot marry men who are not attending church (because that is what it boils down to a lot of times).

We are hit with the unequally yoked scripture whenever they talk about it; but as I said this is just a scripture of convenience.   If it was that serious, they would not be encouraging persons to marry just because they are pregnant.  Even though the world and his wife knows that man is not attending church and many times has no intention to.

Some of us had kids before we became Christians so this is kind of easier to deal with.  I guess that means we can wait a little longer to get married (assuming you do not want anymore kids).  That woman who has been in church since she was a teenager, who is now hitting 40 and beyond with neither a baby nor a husband on the horizon, this can be very challenging.

There are too many insensitive ministers is what I have found.   These men lay down the rules over these women without thinking how all of this affects them.   The fact is, it is easy for a man to find a wife when he is ready.  After all there are so many to choose from.  So what does he know about what these women are going though?  The double standard is so blatant it is almost comical.   When it is time to save face, ministers are quick to marry off a sister to a man who is not attending church.  However, that same minister will tell another sister that he will not approve her getting married to a man who is not attending church.

Single childless Christian women

Many times it is other women who treat single childless women the worst and that is disgusting to say the least.  Now I would never get into a relationship with a man who does not believe in God.   However, I dare to say that there are so many men who are not saved YET who would make great husbands for single sisters in the church.   We need to stop acting like only men who attend church know how to treat a woman.  Believe me I have seen some things that “Christian” men do to their wives that make me go HUH!

I have seen so many single Christian women turn down guys who would make great husbands just because they are afraid of what their church will think.   Here is the thing, it is your decision and has nothing to do with neither the pastor nor the members of the congregation.  Until the practice of encouraging persons who are pregnant outside of wedlock to marry persons who are unsaved then please do not talk to me about unequally yoked.   If it is such a sin to marry someone who is not attending church, please explain to me why this is encouraged when pregnancy is involved.

Single childless christian women everywhere need to take their lives back. If you find a man who believes in God but who is not saved YET then talk to God about it and get His opinion.  Only you and God know the struggles you are facing on a daily basis so do not allow another human to tell you what to do.   Respect your pastor but he is not the final authority on who you marry or not marry.  Again I say the fact that you met the man at church does not mean he is saved.

 

Church For Men: Quick Facts on the Gender Gap.  Retrieved from http://churchformen.com/men-and-church/where-are-the-men/

 

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2 Responses

  1. Yulande says:

    Great article! Insightful. I’ve always thought that “unequally yoked” has been misused and wielded as a weapon too often. Will read your thoughts on that!

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Yulande I honestly am tired of church people and the mockery they have made of the word of God. When it suits them it is one thing and when it does not, its another thing and that is what is so annoying

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