Online Dating Dilemmas – 8 ways to Protect Yourself

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It is 2016 and I seriously thought that we had gotten a handle on online dating by now. You would have to be living under a rock not to have heard some of the horror stories so why are we still being so careless when it comes to how we operate  when it comes to online dating?

Online Dating

 

Online dating has been around for quite a while and many persons have found the love of their live via this medium.  However, for every persons who have found that special person there are others who have suffered terribly or even lost their lives because they are looking for love.   I wanted to talk about this today because another woman has lost her life due to online dating.   This is not to say that this can never happen with persons who date the old-fashioned way but I want to just focus on online dating right now.

Online Dating Dilemmas – Protecting Yourself

  1. Do not over share in your profile.  Refrain from talking about how many  daughters or sons you have at home.   There are pedophiles trolling the internet looking for juicy pieces of information like that and will befriend you just to get to those kids.
  2. Vet every person who shows an interest even before going on that first date.   I know it is all new and exciting but hold your horses.  Google is your best friend and remember that you can also search for images (if you are not sure how to search for images please drop me an email, I would be more than willing to show you how).  Pick up the phone and make a call if he says he works at a particular place.  I know many people have forgotten about the old phone but making that one call can probably save your life.
  3. When the time comes to meet, DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT let him pick you up at home.   Please meet in a very public place; you will have to forgo the walking you to the door phase of this for now.
  4. Don’t forget that he can follow you home after that date so take the necessary precautions on this.
  5. Even after you have been  on a few dates do not let your guard down.  Remember some of these persons are skilled criminals so beware of seemingly sweet gestures like sending a gift to your home; this could be just a means of getting your home address
  6. Let your friends and family know that you have met this person so they can keep an eye out as well
  7. Do not be afraid to run your own background check or open source intelligent search
  8. TRUST YOUR GUT!

If you think this is over the top then please take a look at this list.   I know that everyone, or almost everyone, is looking for love and we should not discount online dating.  However, we must be extremely cautious because there are persons out there who are banking on you being careless.

Have you dipped your toes into online dating?

Are there other ways that persons can protect themselves?

 


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90 Responses

  1. Erica says:

    Wish I had this article when I was online dating!

  2. Marissa Hammers says:

    I met my husband on an online app. We met and haven’t been apart since.

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Marissa I love to hear stories like that because I think there are some great relationships that have come from online

  3. Hmmmm I am no longer dating for last 17 years lolol so I have no idea how one would behave, I imagine its like a y other Online transaction. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS your inner man your spirit has your best interests at heart and never lies to you. So If it feels wrong…online or offline. Run for the hills!

  4. The gut feel is very on point. If he makes you feel uncomfortable, hightail out of there. Stop the convo. Block. Better safe than sorry.

  5. I haven’t done any online dating before, and with shows like ‘Catfish’ and the recent news headline of the woman in Seattle who was killed…it’s a very scary thought to me. You give good tips on how to explore this option.

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Yona, day by day the stories just make you want to stay away. Some persons have been very fortunate so it is not all bad.

  6. Andrea says:

    Sadly TOO many people are making mistakes with online dating these days – such a shame

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Andrea that is so right….we can’t throw caution to the wind because we are in love….we still have to use our head

  7. Ria C says:

    These pointers are all spot on. Every young adult out there should be having this kind of common sense to know how to protect themselves from people they barely know.

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Ria young adults and older adults. I realize that older adults are also using online dating and they can be more susceptible to these things

  8. ranesha says:

    I know a few couples that have been married years, but met online. Great tips!

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Ranesha this is what I love to hear…I know there are great stories out there that can counteract the few bad ones. We just need to proceed with caution

  9. Alison says:

    Great tips! I never online dated but I think there are so many stores – positive and negative – about dating online. It always pays to be careful though.

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Alison, many people have never done it and that is fine. I have always been chicken when it comes to online dating myself…but you are right there are both sides of the coin

  10. Krista says:

    I am so happy to be out of the dating scene. Things are so much different then they were 12 years ago when I went on my last “first date”. There is so much more to think about with online dating. It can be scary!

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Krista anyone who is out of the dating scene should breathe a sigh of relief. Dating is not what it used to be at all

  11. It has been 10 yrs. since I last dated and I realize now how many chances I took. Very good advice today.

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      LOL @ Carol…well thank God you are still here to tell the tales. On a serious note people were not as callous back then

  12. This is really scary stuff. I chatted a little way back in college. So glad I am out of the dating game now!

  13. KatR says:

    Dating certainly has changed a lot since I last went on a date. I don’t think I would be able to even consider dating someone that I met online. There is no way of really knowing anything about the person and I just don’t trust people that much. People really do need to be extra cautious these days!

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      KatR so many things have changed with the advent of the internet. Online dating can be good and bad.

  14. Thank goodness that I am happily married and no longer dating! These are great tips for people who are dating online.

  15. Sarah says:

    I actually met my hubby online but you better believe I was extra protective when we first met. I actually had two of my friends go to the same restaurant we met at. They sat on the other side of the room but, we could still see each other. I know it might have been crazy but it made me feel better knowing that someone I knew was in the same vicinity. I also didn’t go to his house/have him over to mine until I did some Facebook stalking, ran a background, and we met in public 5 times. We laugh about it now but, better safe then sorry!

  16. DANI CC says:

    Dating in 2016 is pretty bad. Even in Chicago, it was rated one of the top dating cities but we live here and know that’s not the case.

  17. Liz Mays says:

    Fortunately I’m not in the dating pool. My daughter has done the online dating a ton though. She’s super cautious too.

  18. suchi says:

    some good tips! I will have share this with my single friends! Its so true that there is so much to be careful about when it comes to finding “love” online!

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Suchi please just remind your single friends who are dating (whether online or not) to proceed with caution

  19. momwithfive says:

    It is a very useful list. I saved your tips because I never know when I need them.

  20. These are wonderful tips!! I love the idea to meet in a very public place!!

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Jasmine yes that is a very good idea…it is hard for anyone to try to harm you in a public place like that

  21. doran poma says:

    I have watched my friends struggle and have great success at online dating. I am so happy it wasn’t around when I was dating.

  22. Mimi Rose says:

    Great tips to be smart and keep yourself safe, even though online dating has been around for awhile there are new apps coming out every month for it that can come with such different scenarios. I think going with gut feelings is always a good option though, thanks for sharing and discussing such an important topic!

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Mimi that gut feeling never fails us at all. Women are especially blest with it so we should use it more

  23. It’s really crucial to learn how to protect yourself if really were to meeting someone from virtual world.. Great tips… Safety always come first..

  24. Jessica says:

    Oh I’m sharing this with my girlfriends!! Online dating safety is so important.

  25. Leigh Anne Borders says:

    Great reminders. I will have to post this along to my single friends.

  26. Rosey says:

    I know one couple who met online and they’re married w/two little ones now. They really are an awesome match. I’ve heard horror stories too though. Definitely important to be careful.

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Rosey not everyone who is creepy, there are some very great men and women online who will make someone very happy

  27. Heather says:

    So glad I don’t have to do this online dating thing , it sounds so scary!

  28. Sareeta says:

    I’m so sad that this is necessary, but you’re absolutely right — it is. Thanks for sharing this. I’d like to point out that this goes for dating anyone of ANY gender, too!

  29. These are wonderful tips. Did you hear about the mom of 3 who went missing and was found murdered early this month after an online first date. Public place for sure. When I used to go on first dates I would send a friend his Plate number if I saw his vehicle and as much info as I could beforehand. I even screen shot his profile and sent it to friends…sadly you can’t be too careful

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Dia I heard about it and that is what prompted me to remind everyone to be careful. It is hard to think of the person as being capable of doing these things but we have to resist the urge to get comfortable too soon

  30. Shann Eva says:

    Yes! These are all just so important. What happened recently is just horrifying. I actually met my husband online, but I made sure to meet him in a public place, and also with friends.

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Shanna you did the right thing and you cannot move too quickly at all. You have to take it very slow and resist the urge to move too fast

  31. Psychic Nest says:

    Those are some amazing tips. Also make talk to that person for a couple days before you date them. If you don’t want to use the dating service chat, you can always use Skype or even e-mails. Anything to get a grasp of how that person reacts when you talk to them.

    Zaria

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Zaria I second that motion….there are so many examples for us to see but for some reason everyone thinks it cannot happen to them

  32. Katy says:

    If I was still single on-line dating would scare me. There’s just so many things that could go wrong, but these are all great tips.

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Kath there are so many things that could go wrong. It takes guts to go there, something I do not have the guts for at all

  33. Great tips! I would add to tell a friend to secretly spy on you so you will never be alone. Kind of creepy I know but you can invite za couple of friends of yours to go the same place at the same time and sit in another table of the restaurant without saying anything. So you will be never alone

  34. Kari Ann says:

    Very good tips, I am glad I started dating way before the whole online thing lol

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Kari…I think we need to approach any dating with caution whether online or not. These days you cannot be too careful…unfortunately

  35. Cole says:

    I’ve never tried online dating, but I have met up with people I’ve met online in hopes of friendship and I think the same rules should apply! Someone can be very different in person compared to online, and it is super important to be safe and to trust your gut feeling.

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Cole absolutely, the same rules have to apply because you have people scheming every day so we have to stay abreast of what is going on around us.

  36. Glenda Kruse says:

    These are amazing tips Mardene! I absolutely agree you should check their background and google search their photos. Thank you for sharing them with us 🙂

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Glenda I have no problems with online dating if it works for you. However we need to be a little more vigilant about this

  37. In this day and age you can never be ‘too careful’ it is a tricky situation to be honest. We need to ensure we are safe.

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Ana it really is a tricky situation because the persons who are out to cause us harm know how to cover their tracks well

  38. Amy Jones says:

    What a problem for the new millenium right? ive never had a bad experience thou, but one has to be careful when trusting strangers.

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Amy everyone who goes this route have got to be very very careful. We are living in very serious times

  39. Elizabeth O. says:

    I’ve never tried online dating and I’m not sure if I am brave enough to ever try it. But for those who do, I admire you guys! It’s definitely important to be safe though, especially with all the news we’ve been hearing about online dating. These are really good pointers.

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Elizabeth I admire those who do as well. I love technology but have never really warmed up to the idea of it

  40. Online dating can be so much fun and so dangerous.

  41. Christine says:

    I agree with all of this! It’s so important to be careful!

  42. christina aliperti says:

    I tend to stay away from online dating. It’s easier to meet someone in person, I think. But these are great tips for online dating because you must stay safe.

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Christina, I like the concept of online dating because it widens the field. However, as with many other things some people have just simply tainted the whole thing

  43. I have been on many online dates. In fact, I got married to someone who I met online. While not discounting anything you have listed here as they all are valid, for me the challenges with online dating has more to do with people’s preconceptions, inability to tell the truth, and seeming to forget that not everyone is gullible. For me, the most important tip here – and every other one will follow from that – trust your instincts. Great post.

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Claudette you braver than me. As much as I love the Internet and all that it has to offer, that is one part of it that I shy away from. I am not that brave….lol…but good for you. I think as you say the most important thing is to trust your instincts and if many are honest they will tell you that much happened because they failed to do so.

  44. Debbie Denny says:

    So much to know about online dates. I don’t need this at this time but good to know.

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Debbie I am all for the internet and everything but I have never warmed up to online dating at all

  45. Robin Masshole Mommy says:

    These are all great reminders that we need to protect ourselves when we date online.

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