Women Bullying Women – Time To Stop This Practice

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Women bullying women is way too common place these days!

Sometimes I honestly do not know where to start in terms of the things that some women do to other women.   Perhaps we should really take a page out of the men’s book and establish some sort of girl/woman code.   You have to admit there is something to be said about the way guys relate to each other which is in stark contrast to the way many women relate to each other.   I am alarmed by the things that some women choose to spew at other women over social media and other places.  I believe women bullying women needs to stop because the young girls are picking up these traits and this is just going down hill.

Women Bullying Women

 

Social media has allowed this level of bullying to be taken to a whole other level and frankly it is getting really tired and out of hand.  In fact, I think some women have hit an all time low when it comes to the way they treat other women.   The thing that really bothers me is that this is infiltrating every facet of society; from the church to the pages of social media.

We  definitely need to curb this practice of women bullying women Why do so many women treat each other so badly?  that is a question I wish I could answer. It does not make any sense at all! Instead of working together, it seems the fitting thing to do is work against each other as if that is going to magically solve the problem at hand.  Something that has always had me shaking my head is the problem of infidelity.  Now why on earth would a woman leave the house that she shares with her spouse and go across town to beat or swear at a woman for being with “her man”?  Once again, the man is standing on the sidelines with folded hands while she embarrasses herself in front of the whole world.  Instead of speaking to him about this disrespectful behavior, many women think it is easier to go and beat down the “perceived” threat.

Man enjoying watching cat fight between girlfriends

Another thing that makes me shake my head is the way women treat each other sometimes when it come to infertility or having children in general.   See a post I did called No I do not wish to have children.  Since infidelity can happen to anyone of us, then this should be a sensitive topic for all women.   Instead, this can become fodder to win an argument and this is just silly.   Those who are from Jamaica know only too well of the insensitivity of calling a woman a mule when others believe that these women cannot have children.  Even though sometimes this is a choice made by many women, it still baffles me how one woman can drag this ugliness into an argument.

These same women still have something to say, if another woman dares to get pregnant after the grand old age of 30.   It just seems as if nothing can satisfy a woman who is hell bent on tearing down another woman.   This got me so fired up that I had to write another post about rocking a baby bump after 50.  This practice of women bullying women has got to stop if we want to want to see changes.  It is as if some women are still stuck in high school and frankly this is deplorable.   Then everyone is wondering why teenagers behave the way they do; many times this can be traced right back to the what they learn from the adult females.

Upset teenage girl with friends gossiping

Many times women are bullying each other in the workplace and that is another one that baffles me.    The worst supervisors I have had have been women (now this is just my experience so don’t shoot me). I don’t know what it is they are trying to prove but believe me, it is just tired and tacky.  Oh yes! I also wrote about this in another post, Of Unscrupulous Supervisors and Managers.   We should really be on the same page in the workplace considering that many of us are getting paid way less than men for the same kind of work.   Perhaps a better strategy would be for us to band together to fight against this inequality in the workplace instead of trying to tear each other down.

To be honest any woman who behaves like this is just a bully and it is not attractive in the least.    This is the very reason I do not watch all these reality shows with women tearing into each other like they are in sixth grade.  Mindlessly gossiping about another woman is just so ridiculous, I would start laughing if so many people were not getting hurt over this. So if you are one of those persons who think it is okay to treat another woman badly then I say shame on you.  It is time to grow up because really this is just childish.   To those persons who care what these women say about them,  I urge you to ignore them because they are really just pathetic little children still stuck in their teenage years.   When you think about it, a woman who is mature, a woman who loves herself and has self confidence does not have time for all that drama.

Ladies, let’s flip the switch! It is time for women bullying women to stop, why not start with you?

Share your mean girl story here if you have one.


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87 Responses

  1. Great post. This is a question that baffles me too. I have not time for that drama ever that’s why most of my friends growing up were boys.

    • mardenec@hotmail.com says:

      Momtheobscure that is exactly right. Sometimes it is best to stick with male friends if the alternative is mean girls

  2. JDhillonXX says:

    I absolutely love this! I’m so glad I’ve come across your blog, I would love for my blog to one day be as successful as yours! You should really do a post on how you’ve made it this far in the game, I’m sure many people are dying to know! Also, do you do guest posts on your blog?

  3. Becca Wilson says:

    I was definitely somewhat bullied in middle school. I didn’t have perfect skin and yeah I was a little awkward. I had some good friends though that made up for it to where I didn’t feel so down. If I wouldn’t have had that support system it would have been worse.

  4. Akhila says:

    Agree with you.. i also wondered why women need to be envious upon another women..? it ‘s the women who need to support themselves to make it a gender equal world. Otherwise they are simply allowing the dominance of the opposite sex.

  5. Uma Srinivas says:

    Now at this point after having 2 kids, I don’t care what people think and talk about me. I have my own things to do. I like to have more friends who are open minded and welcoming people.

  6. I feel women can be very mean and judgmental to each other. Which is why I only surround myself with positive ladies. The kind that are supportive but will also tell you like it is without putting you down and belittling you. At the end of the day people are going to judge you no matter what you do. I wish it wasn’t the case =(

  7. Yoshiko says:

    Thank you to follow my blog and like my poetry. Hope you enjoy it 🙂

  8. Yoshiko says:

    I feel pissed off with such cases of woman treats other woman. However, God also shows those women who is always in full support of each other.

  9. I cannnot understand neither why women to women is so unjust..! Maybe it is in our nature to be competitive. Other women are more competitive, on the other hand some other are less… The big problem is when you face them at a working environment and not as friends, because we choose whom we want to be with. Thank you for sharing your thoughts…

  10. It’s easy when you get older and can choose who you want to have in your life. The one exception is family, if you have snarky family (or in-laws) you’re stuck but you can still limit your time with them, usually…thankfully.

  11. Sargas says:

    As a guy, all i thought girls are fragile and gentle but it was during in my elementary years. But starting high school I learned that their a girls burn to fight like Xena a warrior type and their are girls who are tricky ones, their the most dangerous and scary one. But still I have high hopes and respect that girls are still fragile and worth caring for. I really really love my girlfriend.

  12. Coralie says:

    This really needs to be something that the parents should address from a young age with their girls. Mother’s of the girls friends and those other important influences in their lives. It really is a problem. Teach your girls to be kind, but to also stand up for themselves.

  13. This is so true. I often wonder why women do these things to each other.

  14. Back in my school days there were many bullies.. must of them were girls. Know that I have grown up I know they were insecure about themselves.

  15. Sadly, I see this all too much. I think there is a slight jealousy and insecurity involved in this type of fights.

  16. Euge Nia says:

    It’s so awful. I love this Coco Chanel quote “I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t think about you at all.”

  17. mskathykenny says:

    I would say its insecurity. Women treat other woomen badly because they do not love themselves and are very insecure.

  18. Well said! I completely agree, it’s obnoxious and disheartening to see women tear each other down. Social media is such a powerful tool if you use it for positive purposes. Instead of shaming each other with gossip, guilt trips, jealousy and hurtful words we should be empowering each other to break new ground and set new standards. Especially since our daughters are the ones who are learning so much about defining themselves and others online.

  19. You are definitely correct: this is High School shit. I am in some groups on Facebook and seeing the posts of women going at each other over the silliest of topics. A lot of them proud to be petty. I stopped in a group yesterday, two groups of women were arguing. Viciously. Over a dude (who I hope is at home spending that time with his mate and offspring.) If they were in the street, that surely would have come to blows. Then they wonder why the kids are out of whack. I don’t find any of that amusing in the least. Might be because I have kids. They have teenagers, both boys and girls ending their own lives behind this ignorant shit. And as a man, I can tell you men are no better in this department. Talking trash to girls because they wouldn’t have sex with them. Or because they did. Leaking the most intimate pictures possible. And they do this shit for likes and follows. Instant fame. With disastrous consequences. I got pissed off reading this. We have to learn to be better to each other. Men and women!

  20. This was an interesting read, as a mom and having a daughter. I also work in a place with lots of women, and you are right. The things they do to each other, stew over and bully are crazy! It is like being in school only we are adults.

  21. Tisha says:

    I never really had first hand experience with mean girls bullying but I have a close friend who did. It broke her. It broke my heart too. This has to end and every mother of girls should play their part.

    • Tisha sorry to hear about your friends. We have to speak up and speak early. Teach our kids to be resilient but also teach them that it is not okay to do this to another human beings. Mean girls grow up to be mean adults and sometimes not everyone will tolerate their meanness

  22. Funny you mention bulling is everywhere even in Nursing. What I notice if I have a female boss I am call to the office more often. Having more male in Nursing now is a blessing. Women are so cruel to each other. When I was younger thought it was me why I could not fit in. Now I am older and traveling. I notice the trend how men treat each other and women all about tearing each other down. This can is depressing at time. If you like to have a lot of female friends in your circle. But for me less is my peace of mind.

    The reality shows also show us the reality how women get alone with each other’s. What I have seen is mostly fighting, shaming and bullying. Sad as this is many women become Superstars for behaving this way. I had to point this out.

    • Patrice that is the sad reality….and as you rightly say the reality shows are playing this up for ratings. Kids are seeing these things and then think this is okay. As parents we have to be on top of things or we end up putting another mean girl into the world

  23. I never put up with the mean girls when I was a kid. I was the girl who would stand up for the kids who were being picked on. Women and girls (and all people, really) need to learn to be nicer to each other.

  24. Elizabeth O. says:

    I couldn’t have said it better myself. This thing between us women should stop, it’s going to be a whole lot of a better place if we learned how to treat each other just like men do.

  25. BluKatDesign says:

    I don’t get it either. I haven’t really had a girl friend since I was 10! Could relate to guys much better!

  26. Liz Mays says:

    There will always be toxicity out there. I wish it weren’t so, but it is. We just have to choose to surround ourselves with people who lift us up, not tear us down.

  27. momknowsbest15 says:

    We women need to stop and think. That would help us a lot.

  28. Amy Jones says:

    Thats why i dont have that many female friends, i just enjoy hanging out with simple minded men.

  29. There was a female supervisor over another department that really gave female managers a bad name. It was very frustrating.

  30. Men have ruled the world for so long and women, though powerful, have wanted to rule instead. So, rather than do things the way we know best and allow our influence to be felt in our world, many women have decided to “do it like the boys.” They clearly miss the point that the “boys” are usually bullies towards the ones they consider weaker – read as women. So, they took on the same trait and are, I am afraid to say, mastering it. All the instances that you have cited and more are great examples of how women are bullying each other. Online bullying is getting way up there and we all can share stories of smiling, seemingly beautiful women are really nasty bullies – as they try so hard to have their 15 minutes in the spotlight. Well, as we also say in Jamaica – “Duppy know who fi frighten,” meaning bullies usually know who they can cower into submission – I am not one of them. Thanks for the space to write another epistle. I shall be sharing this post because it is well worth the share.

    • Claudette you know the thing….people like you and I who don’t care a rat’s ass do not cower at their damn foolishness…instead we expose them….I will keep speaking about this. Thank you as always for a great comment

  31. bullies are cowards and have too many issues themselves that they bully others to make themselves feel better shows what a horrid ugly person they are

  32. Ana De-Jesus says:

    It really is awful and it disgusts me that women would go out of their way to deliberately make other women feel bad about themselves. Most of the people who bullied me were girls and recently as you saw in my previous post I have been facing online abuse and while I am strong enough to handle it there are some who are driven to suicide because of it. Well done for speaking up!

    • Oh yes Ana it is the person who will let it get to them who I am so concerned about. We really need to stop this nonsense because there is room for all of us…I think at the crux of this is envy….

  33. I never really struggle with anything like this because I don’t allow negativity in my life. EVER. I am always such a happy person and put a positive spin on ALL situations so… If someone doesn’t like me (which is pretty rare honestly)… I just smile and laugh and move on. Life is way too short to rue.

  34. TT says:

    Reblogged this on 40+/Single/Clueless and commented:
    it’s amazing the role that perspective plays in any relationship. Wow….

  35. I believe we can bring the change we wish to see one person at a time starting with Ourselves. If we become the change we wish to see, the world around us at the least will change. And thats the best we can do man or woman. So thats what I do Mardene! And thats all I am here to do.

    Julie Syl Kalungi

  36. Southern Pixie I am sorry to hear but I am glad to know you finally stood for yourself. It is not acceptable at all and that is one thing I made sure I spoke to my daughter about. She would be punished if I ever got wind she was bullying anyone.

  37. That is why many women don’t like even having a female Boss/Manager because if the female Boss/Manager has an issue with them they are not told. Many times they are either being discussed over at the watercooler with another female staffer, or when it comes time for their performance appraisal they are marked down severely due to the fact woman to #woman is so unjust.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjEYu2WRhYc

  38. I hate to say these of my species but humans in general aren’t that nice.

  39. I was bullied in jr. high and I never quite new why they picked me to bully. It was a couple of sisters and their friend. Their brother even bullied me too. I did eventually have to stand up for myself one day and after that, they never bothered me again. I have never understood why some kids are just so darn mean.

  40. hautebeautyguide says:

    I have recently been the receiver of some online bullying by woman. I never experienced it before. Not even as a child. So it is so odd to have it done in my 30s by women in their 50s! One would think we had grown out of it by now. You article brings up so many valid points. Thanks for taking the time to bring awareness to the cause.

    • Hautebeauty that is what is so annoying to me when adults behaving like they are in 5th grade. It is a pet peeve of mine and I have been speaking up about it for years. Many times it is because of envy why they band together against another woman like that…

  41. gretalamfel says:

    I like a quote by Anthony Hopkins “My philosophy is: It’s none of my business what people say of me and think of me. I am what I am and I do what I do. I expect nothing and accept everything. And it makes life so much easier.”

  42. Robin Rue (@massholemommy) says:

    I think people should just mind their own bees wax and let everyone else just do their thing.

  43. I wouldn’t say I have a mean girl story, but I do find that the further I travel along my own path to self discovery, the less support I have from the same women who were there for me at the get go. Such a shame to know there are many women out there who will not fully support another woman when she begins to succeed!

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