Motherhood is not for everyone!
Motherhood is not for everyone! Some persons have made the choice not to have kids and that is their business.
It really is none of our business if a woman does not wish to have children. There is no law that says that every woman should reproduce. Why then is it so hard for people to understand when a woman says she does not want to have kids? News flash, you are not going to convince a woman who has made up her mind that she does not want anything to do with having kids.
Here is another thing, they do not owe us any explanations either. Some women knew from early that they did not want to have kids. Even though many have repeated these sentiments for years it pretty much falls on deaf years. So in spite of the prior warnings many of these women have to endure endless questions from friends and family if they do not deliver the “goods”
Other women made the decision later on in life depending on what is going on around them. Whatever the reason though, I still think it is disrespectful of us to be trying to convince this woman that she needs to fulfill some kind of calling by reproducing; as if failing to do so will result in some catastrophic illness. There are many reasons why women decide not to reproduce:
- They do not want to bring kids into this crazy world
- They just do not want to – no explanations necessary
- They prefer a child free life
- Fear of giving birth
- Turned off by the actions of the kids they have seen around them
People can be very brutal to persons who do not have children, sadly a lot of the times this comes from other women. Just as we have chosen to have children, those women have chosen not to, so what is the big deal? Perhaps they should turn the tables and start berating us for wanting to have children? I wonder how that would make you feel if they should decide to do that?
So let us stop telling women what we think is best for them. Every woman knows her situation and many times you are not privy to that, so it might be best to just observe. If she does not ask you advice then try not to give it. I know that when we are in the throes of motherhood we tend to think that everybody should experience this and I get it. However, in our eagerness to spread the good news about the joys of motherhood we could very well be hurting those we love.
Oh and telling women that they need to have kids so they can have someone to take care of them when they are old is just bordering on crazy. The fact that you have kids, does not mean any of them will be there to take care of you in your golden years. Also you may very well outlive your kids so come with a better reason than that.
And no it is not because they hate children so do not even go there. Some of these women are the best aunts in the world and children love them. So stop fishing for reasons why any woman decides to remain childless. Having kids is not the only thing that gives a woman purpose because many women are fulfilled by many other things.
I literally roll my eyes when I hear people trying to figure out why such and such does not have any children. As hard as I try, I still cannot figure out how this became their concern. I have friends who do not have kids and I have never, nor will I ever ask them why?
There are those who believe that because you can “afford” to have children then you should. I am assuming that by “afford” they are talking about financially and I disagree with this reasoning totally.
At the end of the day it is the woman’s choice. So please friends and family back off because it is not a crime. I chose to have 1 child but if any friend or family member prefers the opposite then I support them 100%. Some persons are quite contented with making their nieces and nephews happy, and that is fine.