The Hypocrisy Around May December Relationships

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May December Relationships

Why is there such hypocrisy when it comes to May December relationships?  Is it really any business of ours as long as the two persons are consenting adults?

May December Relationships

According to the Urban Dictionary  a May – December relationship is “Basically any kind of involved relationship where there is a substantial age difference between the two people and the relationship does not consist of either partner being considered legally underage ”

The question here is who decides what is “substantial age difference”? For some persons it might be 5 years, while others consider substantial as being in the double digits.  What does it matter, as long as the persons involved are not breaking any laws.  Who made us the relationship police?

You know the hypocrisy of it all (and sadly so) is that many times the persons who say the most hurtful things about these women are other women.   Now I am not saying that men do not go there but pretty much the culprits are other women

Black couple sitting on couch smiling

How about we allow people to find love when and where they want to?   If we do not make a fuss about men doing it, then why make a fuss when women do it.  Whatever the

 

 


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42 Responses

  1. Kaley says:

    I think there definitely is a cut off for the age gap gawking. A 45 year old woman dating a 25 year old guy will get some looks, but a 60 year old woman dating a 40 year old, probably not. I think maturity is what it really comes down to. 16, 22, 30, those ages are all relatively close yet the people at them are very different. Whereas A 50 and a 30 year old, probably not too different maturity wise. Depends on the person!

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  2. The Cuteness says:

    As long as no ones breaking any laws, who cares! At least that’s how I feel about it 🙂

  3. Esme Sy says:

    For me it doesn’t matter if you are dating a younger or an older guy, so long as you are happy.

  4. Chanelle says:

    I don’t think love has a number. If there is someone who makes you come alive inside and out then who cares what the “outside” world thinks.

  5. rubiescorner says:

    Love is real. You know when it comes, but what you do with it is lovely. We use the word too, much at times. Real love can be seen, and it stays on forever. The pure gold, the genuine love, is there reaching out to all of us, but some doubt, and others won’t give it another thought. They run toward the love, with arms up, and feet moving swiftly. God is love. He gives it, and He gave it. I run toward Him. When I love, and it is genuinely felt I give it to Him, first.

  6. That’s so true… who does determine what a substantial age difference is? And why does it matter if you’re both consenting adults? Love is love!

  7. I have never dated a younger man, but my fiance and soulmate is 29 years my senior. Usually, I don‘t see that there is an age difference until we‘re in public and it is let known to us. Dating and even marrying your peers is fine, but a peer relationship is not a requisite for love or friendship, or building a life and a home together. But I do find that I am put in a position to justify my relationship, to assure people that no one is taking advantage of the other, and that he‘s not old or grandfatherly, and I am not suddenly childish and dependent. Patti LaBelle isn‘t doing anything wrong; she isn‘t stealing a younger man from a generation that has any claim on him, and he has a right to be attracted to whomever he is attracted. Being a baby boomer doesn‘t suddenly make someone a feeble old fool; the comments that she is being taken advantage of are ageist and sexist. Some of us are just naturally inclined to attraction to older partners, and some of us find that we are drawn to much younger partners. If my fiance were my age, we probably wouldn‘t have even met; from what I knew of him when he was 36, our paths would probably have never crossed, and if they did, I think I would definitely have passed. But we met two years ago, when the time was right for us both.

  8. Grandtrines says:

    Reblogged this on Grandtrines and commented:
    Excellent piece on this topic. A heartfelt approach to what astrologers describe at “Venus-Saturn” energy.

  9. Kwame says:

    I dated a younger man years ago. I didn’t care what people thought we had fun together and are still friends. Patti needs to do her thing and enjoy the ride.

  10. Moni Love says:

    I love this! This concerns me too how a lot of people have time to critique the lives of others as if like they have personal relations with them. Lol it get me every time. I have enough issues in my life to be all up in the lives of CELEBRITIES! I think the line draws for me I’m 26 so I would be crossing the line to date a 15 year old I mean I don’t wanna feel like I’m dating my son. I had an old friend and we went to Orlando together and on our trip she’s buying all these things for her bf and speaks so highly of him I’m like this is a real lucky spoiled man…when we return home and on meeting her children which were like middle school aged kids (this woman was like in her late 30s soon to be 40) and Im thinking she has three kids one was her bf. I mean I love a man that can teach me at that age they haven’t experienced the REAL WORLD yet! I met a 20 year old yesterday and the normal reaction the mind gives is whoa too young buddy but 20 I can work with. Because its all about the mindset age ain’t nothing but a number. And definitely doesn’t define maturity. I can learn a whole lot from someone younger then m like my kids are teaching me everything and half these adults older than me I’m shocked at some things that even comes out there mouths how old are we?? Lol I agree if the love is mutual who cares what the world thinks I’m happy with my man whose 10 years younger than me and I’m not gonna break up because ppl think its wrong. There is no right or wrong and life and ppl use these labels as an excuse to validate things. If we never had birthdays ppl can’t say much shit now could they lol for all I know I’m not really 26 I could be 18 or 40 I’m just going by what my parents told me and they have too me all kinds of lies lol knowing yourself for yourself is beautiful. Your living your life on YOUR OWN TERMS! great post! Thanks for sharing!

    • Moni, thank you for sharing. There are rules I believe when you are dating a younger man. If you cannot see him as a man then you probably should not be dating him. You are not his mother and he is not your son so unless you see that man as a MAN then no go.

  11. Liz Mays says:

    It wouldn’t be something I’d like, but hey, if it works for someone, go for it. I have no problem with it!

  12. I dated a younger man once – he was 11 years younger and yes, I did see some differences but I don’t think that was necessarily because of his age. Our differences were more related to education, where and how we were raised, etc. And that is the point – if a person of any age is “raised” to respect, be loyal and seeing love demonstrated, no matter their age that is what they will do and be with their partner of whatever age. These “haters” need to shut up and go find their own lives.

    • Claudette only once in my life has someone older than me shown interest in me….LOL…he showed interest because he thought I was younger…aaaaaaaaanyway…for years that was the pattern until I was like as long as I am cool with it and he is cool with it then moving right along. Of course like any other relationship (regardless of the age) you have to tread carefully and pay attention to signs along the way. Respect and loyalty is the key as you rightly say. I never get into people’s business in terms of who they choose to love…as a matter of fact I stay out of people’s business full stop….

  13. Love has no age, has no religion, I’ve been married for almost three years, sometimes were arguing but in the end, we keep our love. My husband is older than me he is 27 and I’m 21.

  14. Elizabeth O. says:

    I believe that love doesn’t have an age limit, maybe because I’m a hopeless romantic. But really, when you have a connection with that special person, why stop yourself?

  15. Maddie says:

    I love this. It seems some people forget age is just a number (at least, when your an adult).

  16. Whats age got to do with anything?

    As long as both are consenting adults I say let them go ahead and create love and joy. The age gap is something humans came up with to make others feel bad about being able to pull someone way younger.

    A bit of the green monster so to speak! I kinda was grabbed by that headline: the hypocrisy of May-December relationships..now I get it and I am totally anti anyone that goes yapping about other people’s business. Bravo Patti! And thanks for sharing Mardene 🙂

  17. I have a may-december happy marriage. My husband is 24 years older than me. My mother had a 8 year long relationship with a man younger than her. It matters the level of compatibility and not the age. 🙂

  18. abccreativelearning says:

    I believe that nothing really matters when it comes to love or what they do in their lives. As long as they are happy and respect each other, that’s all that matters.

  19. Lulu says:

    My significant other is 12 years older. Men don’t get the criticism for “dating down” that women do, but I believe that if a couple find each other attractive in ways beyond just the physical, then why not?

  20. tara pittman says:

    Very well said. Age should not matter between adults. My niece is getting married to a guy who 15 years older and I am happy for her.

  21. Robin Rue (@massholemommy) says:

    I think people should do what makes them happy.

  1. February 9, 2016

    […] If you are a woman who is drawn to a blue collar man, a younger man, or both then there are a few questions you must honestly ask and answer.  Please see my other 2 articles around the subject.  Waiting for Mr. Right and the Hypocrisy Around May-December Relationships. […]

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